From chapter 54 of Book I –
He said, “The other night you shared with me a dream you have. And I sense that it is a big part of the questions that you have been asking about vocation this afternoon. I want you to know that, if God has given you that dream, then I will totally support you in doing what God has called you to do.” She asked, “What if it is a gift for God rather than a call from God?”
He was silent for a long time. Finally, he said, “I’m sorry. My head is swimming. At first, I was going to say ‘what a beautiful gift; of course I will help you give it to Him.’ But then I thought of all the sacrifices involved in creating such a large gift, and I wondered if it would involve sacrificing things that He had called you to do, and then I wondered if He would like a gift like that… and then I realized I needed a theology class to sort out free will and divine will… and then I wondered if marriage was truly a calling or whether it could be a gift as well.”
She smiled and said, “Now that is an interesting concept.”
“I swam into something interesting?”
She said, “The Church refers to marriage as a vocation, which implies that God makes the decision about whether we should be married or religious. But I am intrigued by the concept of marriage as a gift, given by the couple to God. I like that idea. I’m going to have to read up on that one.”
He smiled, remembering the vigor with which she had read up on her last idea. Then he said, “I’m not sure it matters whether your dream is God’s call to you or your gift to God. It is going to happen. It’s going to flow from who you are and what you do, like your breath. And when it does, it will be both call and gift. And I hope I will be there to see it happen.”
TOB Discussion Questions –
See Love and Responsibility (LR) p. 256-257
See Man and Woman He Created Them (TOB)15:1-5, 82-86
*What is God’s primary call to every person? (LR – “self-perfection through love”; TOB – perfection in holiness through spousal, self-giving love)
*What does the term “vocation” mean? (LR – there is a specific way I can answer that call to holiness and love; my “love has a particular goal”; a vocation is also a summons from a church organization to serve as priest or religious; TOB 15:5 – both vocations to marriage and celibacy for the kingdom are about making a free gift of self, living the spousal meaning of the body)
*How is vocation discerned? What things should be considered? (LR – What I have, what I can give, and what God and others expect of me; one’s focus on perfection in love is more important than whether one is celibate or married, cf. TOB 84-85)
*What part does free will play in choosing a vocation? (LR – A vocation is not something one is stuck with, but a free choice to give oneself to love in a certain way; TOB repeatedly uses the verb “choose” in relation to marriage and celibacy)
*In Mulieris Dignitatem 27, John Paul II stated, “Holiness is measured according to the ‘great mystery’ in which the Bride [the Church] responds with the gift of love to the gift of the Bridegroom [Christ].” How does this help explain how vocation can be “call,” “choice,” and “gift”?
Adventures in the Great Mystery 